


Otani's Complex

by Gemlettuce



Category: Lovely Complex (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Cheese, Cheesy, Denial of Feelings, Diary/Journal, Drabble, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Retelling, Romance, Slice of Life, note format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemlettuce/pseuds/Gemlettuce
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the events of Lovely Complex looked like to Otani? What if he wasn't as dense as everyone thought and wrote down all of his hidden feelings in a journal to help express himself. Follows the events of the manga with some added fluff, written in a journal format.
Relationships: Koizumi Risa/Ootani Atsushi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Every line break is another day/entry :)

Dear diary? eh? That sounds so lame… let me try again.

Yo! My name is Otani Atsushi, (my name means big valley) I'm in my last year of middle school and my Mom bought me this huge journal for my 15th birthday (it's like a month too early but I'm not complaining), I want to be a teacher when I'm older so I guess I'll start practicing now?

I've had trouble expressing myself since before I could remember… so maybe writing the first thing that pops into my head will help a bit. Heh we'll see.

Not much to say right now except I'm happy, I have a really cute girlfriend! Her name is Kanzaki Mayu and we've been together for just under two years (we've not kissed or anything yet, I'm way too self conscious to do something like that) so I'm looking forward to seeing where we end up later in life - it just sucks she isn't going to the same school as me, but I'll do my best to see her after the first graduation ceremony.

My best friend Naoko got into the same high school at the very least, so I won't be totally alone! And I still keep in touch with Yoshi from time to time; lately he's not been responding to my texts though.

* * *

I..I had my first kiss today! I was so nervous but it felt nice. We went to the park and I bought her some candy floss, tried to tell her it was on her cheek and we ended up kissing!

* * *

So I'm due to start high school in a few weeks, it's really scary but exciting at the same time! I'm just a little worried… Kanzaki has been acting kind of weird lately, I've been super busy with basketball practice and considering she's the manager you'd think we'd spend more time together, but honestly I feel kind of lonely.

I've noticed her spending more time with this really tall guy in class and I can't help but feel insecure. See the thing is I'm only 147cm tall...yeah.

I probably should have mentioned that.

I've been picked on and belittled (hah) most of my life for my height, I never even thought I'd get a girlfriend because who would want a boyfriend shorter than them? Kanzaki's different though, she never cared about my height, I just can't help but feel something's not right with us lately.

Anyway I have to go to bed early, I might just go around to Kanzaki's house and ask if everything is ok, I'm worried about her.

* * *

She broke up with me….

I went round to her house like the idiot I am and she told me she didn't feel the same way anymore! I'd just bought tickets for Umibouzos live concert for us too. But she turned them down and said she liked someone else.

It's because I'm too short isn't it. I always knew this would happen!

Anyway I'm going to bed, the concert is tomorrow and I've decided to just go by myself, seeing Umibouzo is the only thing that will help me right now.

Was it my fault she dumped me? Am I really no good because of my height….

* * *

Mimi my next door neighbour brought more milk today, she said it's the best brand straight from Hokkaido and that it will help me grow; I guess I'll give it a try but I'm not getting my hopes up. My Mom is 143cm and my Dad is short too so this might be a genetic thing.

* * *

I don't know what to think anymore, no matter what I do people never see me as a man... but I'm feeling a tiny tiny bit better about the break up, see I met this girl at the concert last night. Eh no not like that!

She was kind to me though, I never asked for her name (I probably should have) and I could barely see her face but she seemed fun. Only thing is she is kind of an idiot; I couldn't hear her properly so she raised her voice telling me to cheer up…. and Umibouzo heard! It was mortifying but it put a smile on my face.

I don't know why I'm rambling so much about this but the next thing I knew she was being dragged away by the crowd, she looked scared though so I reached out and pulled her up. One thing led to another and I ended up giving her my shoes because she lost one, I couldn't let a girl walk home without shoes could I? That would be so unmanly of me.

But I got the best birthday present I could've asked for and a strawberry milk sweet from her. I've not eaten it yet, I might keep it even though I'm not really the sentimental type.

Ugh! I just realized I gave her my best pair of shoes….maybe I'm the idiot?

Mom said she'll buy me some new ones with padded soles (gee thanks)

* * *

Why do I have to be so damn small! UGH.

Naoko and I saw Kanzaki today, I thought she was shopping alone and he dragged me over to her.

Anyway next thing I know the damn **GIANT BABA** (195cm tall by the way) comes out of nowhere and asks if she wants to go get lunch together! WHAT THE HELL! I feel so depressed right now.

Whatever.

I think I'm done with girls for the time being. I was already ashamed of myself before but now I don't think I want to feel that heartbreak ever again.

I was probably too forward with her.

* * *

The milk from Mimi is paying off! I grew another 7cm (yes without the padded shoes)! I nearly cried when Mom told me.

Off to see a scary movie with Naoko.

* * *

It's been awhile since I wrote in this. I guess about two weeks have gone by? I didn't mean to forget I've just been busy lately.

First off; I've not grown again since that 7cm spurt, Mom said I'll be lucky to hit 160cm by the time I finish highschool...

Mimi told me not to give up and she's making the milk deliveries daily.

So... little by little I'm getting over Kanzaki, just hanging out with Nakao and his girlfriend Nobu-chan are really helping me stay distracted.

I saw a girl that I thought was really cute, for just a second. But then I got closer to her and physically recoiled. I noticed that she is like 170cm tall! Like a damned giraffe! She opened her big mouth and said that she hopes there are no more short guys in her class! THE NERVE.

"Koizumi Risa" She said her name was, a little bit ironic eh? (her name translates as little spring) Anyway I immediately take back what I said about her, she's not cute at all!

And to make matters even worse we both sit next to each other in class! Our new homeroom teacher even called us All Hanshin Kyojin on the first day...so of course that caught on and everyone calls us it when we're in the same space. UGH.

* * *

It's not all bad I guess. She has a friend called Tanaka Chiharu. Compared to that totem pole she is mega mega cute but she sort of reminds me of Kanzaki

* * *

Ahhh Chiharu-chan is so cute! But I've noticed she never really speaks to anyone but Nobu-chan and that giant idiot.

Speaking of that giant idiot, she is EVERYWHERE. I'm constantly bumping into her, she's really good friends with Nobu-chan so we have to hang out together after school….

One thing that shocked me today was hearing someone refer to that giraffe as "cute, tall like a model" erm, I guess if I really squint and concentrate?

Just a little.

Anyway I've got to concentrate on exams so I won't be writing for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first Summer term of Otani's highschool life and a new love has started to blossom...

UGH I can't go anywhere without being asked what my relationship is with her! Man this sucks, Chiharu-chan is going to think I'm interested in that idiot.

Not much really happened today except I made the basketball team! I'm so happy right now but Naoko and Nobu keep pestering me to talk to that idiot more, why should I? I like Chiharu-chan not her!

* * *

My first summer in high school. Man time flies!

Unfortunately I still haven't really spoken to Chiharu-chan. Like I said; she's REALLY quiet. I get the feeling she's uncomfortable around me and I'm...sort of scared to approach her after what happened with Kanzaki.

The amazon and I are still at it, shouting and arguing with each other most days. I sort of feel happy when I'm around her though. I can be myself around her, not many girls are like that.

What am I writing? I must be tired after today's practice.

* * *

Ugh this sucks. THIS SUCKS.

I didn't do well enough on my exams so I'm having to attend summer classes, and to make matters worse I'm still stuck with the All Hanshin Kyojin thing! I really hoped this would stop.

Oh! We met a new guy today, Suzuki. Dayummm is he tall though, I think he's even taller than Koizumi…

Speaking of I get the feeling she's interested in him, so this could be the perfect opportunity to get closer to Chiharu-chan! I invited the idiot to walk home with me so we could talk about it and I was spot on, she DOES like Suzuki-kun. She seemed a bit shocked I was interested in Chiharu though? Stupid idiot doesn't have a clue what guys are into.

Well we made a pact we'd help eachother out so Koizumi has asked everyone to go to the pool tomorrow! I never break a promise so I invited Suzuki-kun too.

Good luck idiot I'll be cheering for you but personally I don't think she's his type.

I'm really excited to finally spend some time with her. HER meaning Chiharu by the way.

* * *

Chiharu is soooooo cute! And she's scared of guys so that makes her even cuter! I got to spend quite a lot of time with her today I mean except when me and Koizumi were playing in the pool together.. And then on the water slide.

It's a shame Chiharu and Suzuki are scared of things like that but I guess I get to enjoy them with Koizumi. She seemed to be getting on with Suzuki too so that's good, I'm happy for her.

Now how long till I can claim Chiharu-chan for myself I wonder!

* * *

And there it is…. Damn my stupid midget body! I overheard Koizumi and Chiharu-chan talking after class today and she said she doesn't see me as a guy.

It really hurt hearing that. Even Koizumi tried to cheer me up by telling me rude things like "Even if you are small, you still have a -( I'm blushing trying to repeat what she said) so that makes you a man!" She punched me which sent me flying but maybe, just maybe she's not as irritating as I thought she was?

Shame she doesn't take her own advice… as sucky as this is Suzuki kun also said a similar thing about her and she instantly got depressed about her height too, so I guess we have that in common huh.

Anyway we worked things out and we both promised we wouldn't give up on Suzuki kun and Chiharu, if I cured her being timid around guys I just have to show her I'm manly too right?

I'm going to do my best. Chiharu-chan you will be mine!

* * *

The strangest thing happened today! I was playing basketball and everyone came to see me play, that in itself isn't the weird bit though…

Koizumi came and I could feel her eyes on me, it felt...weird. Not bad weird just...weird.

Well things got even weirder! She said I was "cool" and apologizing for calling me small fry all the time. WHO IS THIS GIRL AND WHAT HAS SHE DONE WITH THE AMAZON.

Erm...moving on! I laughed and joked with Chiharu more today and things are going well but I get the feeling she's not into me, I'm going to give it my all at the festival tomorrow and if that doesn't work, well at least I tried.

* * *

So I just got home from the summer festival. It was a lot of fun; however...

I give up. Chiharu and Suzuki kun are obviously into eachother, I keep catching them exchanging glances, and Koizumi said Suzuki-kun blushes anytime he mentions her…

Man high school life is unfair.

More weird stuff happened tonight though… Koizumi came wearing a kimino, she looked like a giraffe with those lanky legs of hers but I didn't realize it before (ok, the first impression I had of her doesn't count because I didn't know her back then) but even with her height, she definitely isn't ugly.

She's got guts too; she told me she was giving up on Suzuki because she saw how he felt about Chiharu..so I did the same and we actually had a lot of fun, we played games together and visited a lot of food stalls! I kept losing her in the crowd of people so I grabbed her hand and dragged her away and then…

"Woah look they're holding hands, they couldn't be dating though look how SMALL he is" UGH. Remind me never to hold that idiots hand again, I always feel ashamed of myself but more so being compared with someone that tall.

* * *

CRAP! I did something bad! When me and Koizumi were trying to fight for Chiharu and Suzuki I think we might have gone too far on the compliments for eachother because Koizumi came to see me after class and told me that Chiharu-chan said I LIKE HER THE BEST! That amazon! HAH.

It resulted in a bit of an argument as usual… I told her "Let me just say this, I will never, EVER like someone as tall as you" and she said the same to me so I guess we're on the same page.

Never. EVER.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unlikely friendship is forming between Otani and Koizumi after discovering they both share the same interests.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH people saw me and the giant having fun in the festival and even our DAMN homeroom teacher thinks we're a couple now! I'm so pissed off!

I think I might have hurt Koizumis feelings though? She's been so angry and even snappier with me today.

Maybe I went too far yesterday? But she said the exact same thing! Whatever. I need to focus on the basketball tournament coming up; lately all I write about is that idiot!

Ahh I'm gonna be late for class, I'll write more la-

Ok so I was leaving school and happened to see that idiot and Suzuki-kun at the cafe! I thought she had given up on him but I was wrong, but now we're definitely going to help Suzuki-kun and Chiharu out- its the right thing to do right?

* * *

Today was interesting, and a little depressing.

Not really much to say, Chiharu-chan thought her feelings were towards me and I could've been a selfish jerk and convinced her but I'm not! I told her she had feelings for Suzuki-kun, not me.

Anyway he finally confessed to her and they're going out. It sucks but it's my fault for not being able to be seen as a guy.

Oh before I forget - **Koizumi and I have made a wager** , first person to get a girlfriend or boyfriend has to follow their orders AND buy them something.

There, I have proof now if she ever dismisses it; because I'm definitely going to win!

* * *

100%?! YEAH RIGHT.

Today we all went to hang out in the arcades and there was one of those stupid love compatibility simulations, Naoko and Nobu-chan got like 80 something percent which is fair enough. What shocked me was Suzuki-kun and Chiharu-chans.. 18%. Oof.

BUT (and I will never understand why they did this) Naoko and Nobu put mine and that amazons info in and suddenly there was lovey-dovey music coming from it.

We got 100% compatibility… Does God really hate me that much? Naoko and Nobu-chan wouldn't shut up about it all day! Even in the cafe they were like "You two really do suit each other, you'd make a great couple" Please...I'm going to bring my lunch back up, me and that girl?

That girl…. She likes Umibouzo too! I'm so shocked because he's really underrated and I don't think I've ever met anyone besides Yoshi who was into him!

I probably made a mistake doing this but I asked if she wanted to go with me, it'd suck to go on my own again. I'm sure she'll say no anyway.

* * *

We won another game today! I'm so happy!

But I've noticed that Koizumi keeps coming to watch me play, which is weird. She seemed really aggressive again today, something about not losing to me and I have to buy her all the games she wants? Hah she's such a nerd.

Right I have to leave now, my middle school friends invited me to a Mixer tonight. Maybe there'll be some cute girls there?

* * *

Why is it whenever I go somewhere SHE IS THERE! I wanted to meet cute girls, not giant amazons! I couldn't really talk to any girls all night because of that idiot. She looked really bored and I couldn't just leave her there to suffer.

I sat down next to her when my friend left to grab a drink, she looked so relieved it was hilarious!

After that we ended up ordering Umibouzo songs and singing all night, she actually made it quite fun and the girl has got a hell of a voice I'll admit.

So...after we left Nobu forced me to walk Koizumi home..sort of. I would have offered first to be honest, she is still a girl after all and what sort of man would let her walk home alone that late at night, I might have said something stupid though… that 100% compatibility keeps ringing in my head so I said to her maybe we are compatible b-besides the height obviously! It's not like we're going out either. I would never!

Except to the Umibouzo concert...

* * *

Ugh. Naoko just gave me the tickets to the christmas live....CHRISTMAS LIVE. CHRISTMAS?! I'll have to tell her and hopefully she'll just not want to come, although it would kind of suck to go by myself.

* * *

We bumped into Kanzaki today…

I told Koizumi about the CHRISTMAS concert and she still wanted to come! I said we'll just go home straight after the concert before any feelings develop (like they ever would?)

She's been quieter than usual these past few weeks, hope everything is ok.

So erm anyway - Kanzaki. I'm pretty sure she thinks me and that amazon are an item… It was so awkward running into her! Especially with Koizumi breathing down my neck asking me all sorts of questions! Why is it any of her business? I'm just glad we weren't alone together or Kanzaki would definitely think we were a couple...not that she'd care or ask.

UGH I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

* * *

Koizumi and I ended up walking around for hours after school today, I didn't even notice the time had passed so quickly! She's still acting strange but if we talk about Umibouzo it's all good.

Mom's pretty angry because I got home late again.

* * *

Another strange day today. I overhead Naoko and Koizumi talking about me, I'm not quite sure what was said but I'm pretty sure she was being nosey.

Then after lunch she asked me why I broke up with Kanzaki! Does that idiot even think before she speaks! Anyway I told her everything, I don't know why. About how depressed I was after I was dumped, that it was because of my height and it's made me really insecure, and you know what she did? She patted me on the shoulder and told me to "be happy" and ran off?

I asked Naoko and Nobu-chan about her when we all first started hanging out and they said she's a really passionate girl; obviously at the time I thought she was JUST an idiot. But now I think I can say she is quite a good person.

Still an idiot though.

* * *

So Kanzaki waited for me after school yesterday? Ummm...ok?

Koizumi said she had a message from her and she wanted to talk about something; which really made me nervous for some reason, she wanted to invite me to the basketball party with everyone from middle school but it's on the same day as the Concert.

But everyone kept saying that she might want to get back together with me! I mean I don't know what to think about that, she really messed me up and if it wasn't for Chiharu-chan I'd probably still be moping around about the break up.

One last thing from today: Koizumi told me to go to the party and leave her be.

I really want to know what Kanzaki wants to talk about but I also made a promise to the idiot that I'd go with her.. I can't just brush her off.

I was right yesterday though, Koizumi isn't the bad person I thought she was.

* * *

The concert is tomorrow night and I really don't know whether I should go with Koizumi or go to the basketball party. To be honest I've been thinking (hah I know dangerous right!) and I don't really want to get back together with Kanzaki right now. And I can't believe I'm saying this but I do have fun with Koizumi, it would be a LOT less awkward than sitting around with Kanzaki all night.

Ok I'm going to the basketball party.

Yes

But the concert starts in an hour…

No

YES

No

No! I made a promise.

* * *

I went to the concert with Koizumu and… WE HAD A BLAST!

It was a bit awkward at first, she fell over and hurt her knee so I had to go find a plaster or something for her. She was crying so it must have really hurt?

But after that we went to see Umibouzo, the new songs were great and we were third from the front row!

Like I guessed we went straight home after the concert, nothing happened; no love or sparks thank god. I still had a lot of fun with her though.

My friend is a giraffe. Who knew life would turn out like this?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drama starts when Koizumis childhood friend and a very cute girl throw a spanner into the works

We all hung out today but Koizumi wasn't there, it felt kind of weird without her looming over me. Nobu-chan said she caught a cold so I hope she's alright, I might ask for her number and text her.

* * *

Damn that's some cold! It's been about a week now and she's still not appeared.

Oh very good news, I grew another cm! 155cm now.

* * *

Umm so we all went to the shrine today (Koizumi finally felt better, and man I'm glad I didn't call or text her or I'd look so uncool) I'm glad she's feeling better but something unfortunate happened…

We were all having fun, Koizumi really made me laugh praying so hard to the shrine and then I saw her talking to someone.

It was Kanzaki! Anyway I barely got a word in when I approached them, Koizumi looked sort of flustered and Kanzaki ran away saying not to meet up with her now? Ugh I'm so confused!

* * *

Not heard anything from Kanzaki.

But the others won't shut up about her now, especially Koizumi. Naoko said the giant ( giant baba not the idiot) was seen shopping with another girl! I feel kind of bad if that's the case, but I'm an ex boyfriend so it doesn't really matter.

I got angry because I was sick of hearing about her so I told Koizumi and the others to stop getting involved and I ran home.

I'd better get some sleep, the new term starts tomorrow…

* * *

Forgive my writing today, that idiot threw a ball right in my face! She is SO annoying sometimes!

I'll start from the beginning:

So today was the first day back, Koizumi INSTANTLY comes over apologizing about things and then starts getting herself involved again! I wish she'd leave it alone, she asked if I still like Kanzaki and then the homeroom teacher told us to stop being a lovey-dovey couple and fighting….UGH.

I was still pretty pissed about it by the time club started so I kept thinking about things, am I actually over Kanzaki? Do I want to get back together with her? I kept drifting off and couldn't really concentrate..And that's when the big idiot threw a ball at me! She shouted to stop staring into space and then ran off!

I'm going to bed..lets hope I don't have a concussion.

* * *

I think I'm at peace about Kanzaki now…

Koizumi was strangely quiet today in school so I figured she'd drop the subject and leave me alone, not like I wanted to talk to her either! Anyway I thought I'd have some peace today but she got up in the middle of class and left, I don't know why but I followed her; I knew deep down she was meddling again.

I didn't think she was this much of an idiot though, I followed her all the way to Kanzaki's school! She started running her mouth on Kanzaki saying there was nothing between us (thank god) and that if she wanted to get back together we should and I just couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed her scarf and told her to shut up!

What happened next hah...I don't know what to say.

Kanzaki told me the reason she dumped me wasn't because I was short and that she just preferred taller guys...I mean still.. OUCH. Then the giant boyfriend turned up to meet her and things got awkward, they left and Koizumi wouldn't stop apologizing to me.

I think she helped me finally get over it though, I'm glad it wasn't because of my height and I don't think I would've found out if Koizumi wasn't such a nosey idiot, so I am thankful for her.

* * *

We all went to the cinema today, it was some soppy rom com which wasn't great. Me and Koizumi stopped by the arcades after everyone left, we played some air hockey and she won one of those rabbit plush things from the claw machines.

Oh and she wanted to exchange numbers, which was awkward because I'd already gotten her info from Nobu-chan.

I don't know why but I pretended I didn't already have it.

Oh I'm 156cm now, this must be my growth spurt...

* * *

Another interesting day today.

I walked in pretty happy because I found an old CD from Umibouzos earlier years, Koizumi was apologetic….again. She seemed fine the other day though? I felt bad that she was still feeling guilty so I lent her my headphones and that cheered her right up.

So after school we were all walking and then suddenly everyone's talking about Valentines Day...ugh. The two couples are going off about what cakes and chocolate they're making for each other and I wanted to make a joke but then Koizumi of all people starts getting flustered asking questions about it too! I called her disgusting and said that after eating the giantess' chocolate whoever received it would feel awful and to not hope they'd grow as tall as her too….Bad idea I guess?

She remained still for a few seconds so I asked if she was ok and then she started spouting out crap like she was going to die alone and unloved. Yikes, I didn't think I'd upset her that much I was just joking.

I don't like seeing her upset so I said if she wants to make chocolate she can give them to me because I do like sweets and it'd be a shame to let her efforts go to waste.

* * *

It was just a normal day and I was at basketball club, Koizumi came to cheer me on again (I think she comes everyday now, when did that happen) Some of the other girls that call me cute (ugh) and chibi came over to talk to her and then they went somewhere. Not quite sure what that was about….

So just as we were leaving she came running back and then this really annoying monster of a guy appeared and hugged her! An ex maybe? I was pretty sure she had never been in a relationship with anyone though. They looked like they got on so I just walked away and then….Naoko used me to shield a ball because I wasn't paying attention! Thanks man. (sarcasm)

I don't know why but that tall guy irritates me.

* * *

Yep it's official. I can't stand this guy! His name's Haruka (what a lame name) and he is so rude, but he kept calling Koizumi cute and saying embarrassing things! Dude are you blind she is not cute...most of the time.

He really pissed me off and kept making fun of my height so I just walked off and left them. I won't lie I was looking forward to gushing over Umibouzo with her at the CD store today.

I'm not sure how to say it but I consider Koizumi one of my best friends and a guy as pathetic as him probably wouldn't let us hang out anymore, and I don't want that.

* * *

Man will this guy piss off already! Koizumi is trying to convince me he's not a bad guy but he gets under my skin! He invited himself into our classroom today and started saying embarrassing things again, like he sees Koizumi as his hero? What kind of guy is he! I told her that she is a girl and she doesn't want someone so pathetic to be around her if he can't even protect her.

Of course everyone started complimenting the happy couple and whispering how pretty Koizumi looked, and how great they both looked together because they're tall. Meanwhile I feel like a shrub in the middle of a forest! Oh and then obviously they all started mentioning how short I was when I was with her, that really pissed me off! We're just friends for god sake.

Oh lord, I forgot it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. It's going to be really awkward now because I told Koizumi she could give me chocolate if she had no one else.

I mean now she does so who cares, he can have it.

* * *

I knew it was going to be awkward but jeez I feel bad, I'm sitting here in class and I can feel her glaring at me, I don't normally write in school but this lesson is dragging and I just want today to be over.

So just like I guessed she approached me with a bag of chocolate, I told her I didn't want it. I sort of did though, she went through a lot of trouble to make that.

Things got even worse after that. She started arguing with me so I told her she had someone to give it to now and ugh… the rest of the class appeared and TOTALLY misunderstood the situation! They thought she was confessing to me so I stuck up for her (I didn't want even more rumours about us) and I told everyone it was for _him._ I thought she'd be grateful but she looked really annoyed and snapped at me, then she ran off.

She's looking over so I'm going to stop writing till I get home.

I'm home now...a lot happened today.

I knew she was mad at me but damn. She just up and left after school! So I was walking home with the Nakao couple and who do I fricking see…

That amazon and that smug looking #! #! They just walked off together but he smirked and I just lost it! Then Nakao and Nobu-chan kept asking if I was jealous! Of course I'm not jealous I just can't STAND that guy, Koizumi can do a lot better!

* * *

When did my life become such a drama! That guy turned up again today and started on me...AGAIN. And then SHE started on me! Saying I told her to give him the chocolate! I mean...I guess I did! But I didn't mean it like that, I don't know. I don't like him and he's not good for her.

I didn't get to hang out with her again today because he dragged her away. I should really apologize shouldn't I?

I'm at the cafe with the Naoko couple right now so talk later.

I'm back home -

Erm, something weird happened again. So I was sitting in the cafe being harassed by those two and then Koizumi and _Haruka_ walk in together, they didn't see us somehow and then the next thing I know the three of us are ducked down in our booth eavesdropping.

That arrogant prick started harping on about how much he likes Koizumi and how she shouldn't hang around with me anymore, it made me a little sad. So I assumed she was going to agree with him but then she said things like " He's not that bad, although he's short, he tries really hard at basketball. He's pretty good too and when I'm in trouble he helps me out. And yea- at christmas!" She looked like she had more to say and I felt a sort of...feeling in my chest, probably just indigestion. I'm really happy she stood up for me like that though, but then Haruka interjected (big fancy word I learned today) and said "Risa, do you.." does she what? I wonder what he was going to say.

Luckily she changed the subject after that but then I turned to see Naoko and Nobu-chan grinning at me like they knew something they weren't telling me.

* * *

I apologized to her today but she seems distracted.

* * *

She's being weird again. Sleeping in class and screaming things like "NO IT'S WRONG" What on earth is wrong with her haha I can't help but laugh.

But I am slightly concerned. At lunch she was talking to Nobu-chan and yelled out "Why do you have to mention Otani!" I feel like they're talking about me a bit too much these days. Nobu-chan tried to tell me something that guy said or did to her and then Koizumi started rambling about having pride and not wanting something.

Anyway enough about her.

* * *

I'm starting to think he confessed or something, she's been awfully strange lately. Sleeping in class, mumbling to herself and staring off into space. I caught her just earlier and had to yell right down her ear to get her to snap out of it, I tried to say I was concerned about her and then she had to go and say "you really are short aren't you" erm ouch? And also...irrelevant?

We were both called into the office today too, the homeroom teacher kind of bugged me by reminding us we might not all be in the same class next year, I felt a bit lonely just thinking about it. The Naoko couple are great, but I was more sad that me and the big idiot wouldn't be able to talk as much.

Oh ok he is GOING to confess. He left a note for her to meet behind school, so I guess I'm being dragged there later….how fun.

Hey. Would it be impossible to think that a girl that tall might… nah that really would be impossible wouldn't it!

So the confession didn't go as planned, it was really awkward because she started to reject him which surprised me because she could've won our wager, but then they caught us and he said it was all my fault? How is his pathetic rejection MY fault?

Then he said something else strange and asked if Koizumi liked me, I wanted to diffuse the situation and again she acted ungrateful when I said that someone like her would never be interested in me. I mean it's true right? I'm not even appealing to girls the same height as me, let alone huge girls like her.

* * *

Ahhh I'm so happy! I was made a regular on the team today!

* * *

It's the start of the 2nd semester now and I'd never ever admit this but I'm happy. We're all in the same class again so I still get to have a laugh and joke around with everyone including Koizumi. Ah but on the bad side, that SMUG prick is in our school now, in the class next door!

I shouldn't be writing in class incase someone see's this and reads it outloud, I think I would actually die of embarassment if that happened, anyway people are calling us All Hanshin Kyojin again so it looks like I'll never get rid of that stupid nickname, we've also been picked for committee duties again… pretty much the same as last year!

Everyone came to see me at practice again but the amazon was too busy chattering away she didn't see my awesome scores!

Home again.

I'm really worn out so I'm just going to go to bed.

* * *

Oh man. Where do I start…

I was kissed today! But I'm not sure how I feel about it, for one the girl is a complete stranger and...maybe I'm still not ready for a relationship (I know, I know the dumb wager we made, but I'm still not feeling confident enough to ask anyone out and honestly there isn't really anyone I like right now) She said we could be friends before going out and I don't know why but I said ok!

The kiss isn't the only weird thing… Koizumi bought me a present! I nearly died of shock, she's never done something like that before. I'm wearing it right now though, I actually really like it so I accepted. It's a yellow and white wristband with stars on, that idiot didn't have to get me anything. Come to think of it I don't think any girl has ever gotten me anything without wanting something in return….

* * *

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! That totem pole grew another 2cm! She laughed when I told her about my 2mm growth too! Stupid idiot.

Anyway I'll write more after practice! Seiko-chan said she wanted to come see me play, maybe I'll get to dazzle her with my cool moves!

I fainted today. Don't want to talk about it.

* * *

They're all laughing at me. I can hear them all! I'm so angry! IT'S NOT LIKE I KNEW SHE WAS A GUY!

Oh god Seikos here…. I feel so awkward I really don't want to see her right now.

Back home, still don't wanna really talk about it, sleeping.

* * *

She's acting weird again… I just caught her staring out the window and Nobu-chan slapped her and mentioned something about bad posture, she seems kind of down.

* * *

Yeah somethings definitely bugging her, she just asked me a very weird question

"If the only women in the world were Seiko and me, who would you choose" What a...strange thing to ask. I just responded that neither of them were women. But if I'm completely honest I think I'd have to pick her...erm hypothetically speaking of course.

* * *

I made up with Seiko-chan today too. She's not a bad person; I just don't feel that way about guys. I may have the height of a girl but I can assure you; I'm straight.

Hey remember when I said I'd hypothetically pick Koizumi? I take that back… she CARRIED me to our homeroom like a princess today, because all the boys decided to dress up in cheerleading costumes and vice versa…

I felt oddly...uncomfortable when Koizumi held me between her arms though.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 2nd Summer break of Otani's highschool life is just around the corner but Koizumi is acting weirder than usual..
> 
> Some original fluff.

We're back to the weird atmosphere….yay

Everyones even MORE secretive now! Have you ever entered a room and felt like everyone has just been saying things about you? That's how I've felt every day for the past month. I've begged Nakao to tell me what's going on but he said he can't spill the details… and asking that street lamp anything is like getting blood out of a stone.

Speaking of - she invited me to the beach, bit weird. I don't remember anyone else mentioning it.

* * *

I can't sleep…. It's like 3am but I'm too excited!

We were in the cafe after school the other day and heard that Umibouzo is having a beach concert today, so I guess it couldn't hurt to go again with Koizumi right?

I need to get her alone to ask what's going on anyway, I've felt like she's on edge more lately.

* * *

I'm at the beach right now, that klutz hurt her foot so I'm keeping her company, she laughed when I told her I keep a journal and teased me for being an old man, but I know she's faking it. She's really down for some reason.

The weird atmosphere hasn't gotten better either, she's more quiet and everyone else keeps smirking. Eh I'm sure it's nothing, I'm going to get a drink for both of us; she looks dazed again and the sun is probably too much for her.

I'm taking this journal with me if my life depends on it, the worst thing I can think of is her getting her huge hands all over it and reading anything.

-

Koizumi likes someone! I wonder who it could be…

They all said they were going to get ice cream so I'm just going to sit here and wait for them to come back, I didn't mean to but I upset her quite a bit earlier.

She asked me the STRANGEST thing "What would happen if I were to fall in love with you?" I jolted upright at that because I thought she was serious for a second! Anyway, thank god we both started laughing and I said "Don't say such gross things you're not going to have a boyfriend your whole life you GIANTESS" Nothing out of the usual right?

She started sobbing and I mean like...SOBBING! I've never seen her like this before, anyway after they heard her everyone came running to comfort her. Nobu-chan said something about a girl in love being emotional? So then I asked something I thought would do no harm; I just asked if she liked someone.

That's when they all left! We're supposed to be going to a concert together later; what the hell do I say now! I'm off to go find them all...people are staring at me.

Ok so WOW that concert was fantastic! I love Umibouzo so much, please man never retire!

Back to the drama that I feel is endless lately.. Koizumi apologized for her outburst earlier and said it was the sun getting to her (told you! That's why I bought her that drink earlier, girls get sunstroke easier than guys). I brought up the topic again though, like three times I asked who she likes and she wouldn't tell me! I asked Naoko, Nobu-chan, Suzuki and Chiharu-chan and NONE OF THEM WILL TELL ME! I'm sort of feeling left out if I'm honest.

I asked if the guy was shorter than her because why else would she get super-hyper-sensitive of her height all of a sudden? It never used to bother her as much as it does now. Anyway I told her she is an idiot, to not worry about stuff like that because she has her own charm and then asked one more time..who is the guy?

She just smiled at me and maybe it's sun stroke but she looked...pretty.

Woaaaaah today's entry is long, I feel like my wrist is going to fall off, getting some sleep now.

* * *

I don't know why this is irritating me so much but she's still acting weird and everyones still talking about things behind my back! I've got nothing better to do so:

Possible suspects:

Nakao - nah she'd never do that to Nobu-chan

Suzuki - that ship has sailed

Sata (random guy in our homeroom) - I don't think she's ever spoke to him?

Tohru - he said she was tall like a model once

Haruka - PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. NAH.

Seiko - ?

Ikeda - short guy on basketball team (it'd make sense seeing as she's "cheering me on" everyday)

Gorilla sensei - Ok... even I agree I'm being an idiot now.

 ~~Me~~ \- impossible.

Crap lunch time. I'll write again later..

-

Ok this is REALLY annoying me now! I was on my way back from basketball club (they came to watch me but didn't even see any of my scores...again) and I heard Nobu-chan and Koizumi talking, the amazon was sitting on a bench jotting notes on what seemed to be what Nobu-chan was saying? I said outright this time that they're excluding me again and the Nakao couple whispered to Koizumi and then left!

I'm at the cafe with the pain in the neck now. I invited her here to talk about all this weirdness, will update when I get home.

-

All I was able to get out of her is: He's stupid, shorter than her but she doesn't mind because he's a good guy and that he's in the basketball club. I even asked if it was Ikeda because he's sort of short too but she told me to drop it and looked really sad...she must really like this guy.

* * *

It's nearly Koizumis birthday and she's still really depressed, I'm going to give her something that'll cheer up (it'll KILL me to part with it but I can't think of any other person worth having it) and maybe I'll take her to that firework spot I found last year just after Kanzaki dumped me.

Not much happened in school today, Koizumi acted distant so I lent her my iPod with the latest Umibouzo tracks on it. She seemed to perk up when one of the freshmen (Hayato) approached her. (Maybe he's the one she likes?).

After school I bumped into an old friend and we got to talking about the upcoming trip to Hokkaido and he wants me to pick some bear...curry? up.

Alrighty then.

Not like I'm going to forget something as weird as that.

* * *

Took Koizumi to the park after school today, she was quiet again and practically shoved the ipod back in my hands. (I didn't need it back THAT quickly)

So...a dog walker approached us with way too many dogs! There must have been atleast 8. The leads wrapped themselves around Koizumis tree trunk legs and she tripped, I grabbed her arm so she wouldn't fall flat on her face (from that height she definitely would have had a scar) and she slapped my hand away! I was only trying to help...

She's definitely still brooding over whatever it is, I'll check one last time if there's any more Umibouzo CDs in the store or on the internet (I'm really struggling giving this away)

* * *

Ok it's her birthday today. I've got everything wrapped and I'm practically sobbing thinking of parting with this limited Umibouzo CD but...she needs cheering up right now. I'll call her later tonight to meet up with me on the rooftop.

Really hope this helps..

-

She liked the presents and the fireworks and seemed really happy, so happy that she told me she liked me! For a second I thought it was a confession then I realised who I was with hahah what a strange but sweet girl, I like her too.

Then she had to ruin the evening and she got pissy with me and left? I'll forgive her seeing as she's in love.

* * *

She came to see me before I started practice today...alone, hmmmm. I told her that she should stop wasting time and go on the attack for him and she said that's why she was here! I was right all along it IS someone on the basketball team!

My first thought was Yamamoto (or Hayato from the other day) the first year! Hes stupid, but a good guy and he's shorter than her. But then she got pissy again ... Honestly I'm running out of possible suspects now.

Oh and just as we were finishing up I heard her and Nobu-chan whispering things again and she screamed "NO I CAN'T!".

I've got a headache thinking about this, it's the start of another semester soon too, ahhh my fleeting youth and all I can worry about is my friends conspiring behind my back.

* * *

She's acting pissy again. She left me a hex in my locker today saying she curses me and my great great great grandchildren?

I wish we could go back to the fun times, I have this really weird feeling in my gut and with the class trip coming up soon I want to be able to get back to normal with everyone.

Is having a damned conversation with her about all this too much to ask?

* * *

Another hex today…

I think I might lose it if she keeps this up! Whatever, I'm going for a walk.

Bumped into Hayato walking with his little sister, we were talking casually about school and I brought Koizumi up and he said he's never really spoken to her before the other day when he was asking if she had a spare eraser... would she get worked up if a guy she liked borrowed her eraser I wonder?

* * *

She ignored me in school again, but whilst I was taking the dog for a walk this evening I saw Koizumi in the park!

I'm not proud of this but I followed her. She'd normally ask everyone to come with her because she's quite a lonely person; so to go anywhere without asking someone to come along is very unlike her.

I don't think she saw me but she just walked around for an hour, sighing and looking depressed and then sat on a bench and cried. Honestly looking back, I should've swallowed my pride and just gone over to her, maybe bought her an ice cream or something? But instead I just watched that poor girl sob and walked home.

I feel like such a jerk.

* * *

Not as big of a jerk as her apparently. Pissed off again. She whacked me over the head with a sign today AFTER I told her she should be more grateful for those presents I gave her!

I'm on my break right now, our school is having a summer festival and we had to choose a haunted house theme… the amazon decided she'd be the ghost and from what I can hear she's doing a really good job at scaring the living daylights out of everyone.

I think I see her sitting down by the toilet block so I'm gonna go talk to her, I have a feeling maybe the guy she likes got the wrong impression of me and her hanging out all the time? That's the only logical thing I can think of right now.

I'll check back later -

Just finished my cleaning duties. Even that prick Haruka and Seiko knows who she likes, why is it ONLY me who doesn't know! Whatever, they're all pissing me off now…

I THINK she might still be in our classroom so I'm just gonna go check on her.

It's me

-

I cannot sleep after what happened!

I'm still in shock….

As I suspected she was still in the classroom...crying… she scared the crap out of me sitting there in the dark like that! I don't like seeing a girl upset so I asked if she was alright (I mean stupid question right) and she said that the guy she confessed to totally brushed her off

(I'm...starting to understand why she was pissed off now! That time at the fireworks...it was a confession wasn't it. CRAP)

I told her to go tell him again and make it clearer to him because he might not have gotten the hint (feeling stupid now) and she outright said that the guy was in that room right there with us, I started looking around for someone hiding (idiot) and then that's when she said it… "Did you even think that the guy I like could be you?" I...I wrote me on that list of suspects but mostly as a joke, I'm not COMPLETELY thick. I noticed her being weird when it was just the two of us but I was so sure it couldn't be me because we're All Hanshin Kyojin.

She's my best friend.

I've never really thought of her in that way (besides the time we met before she spoke, and the odd moment here or there, but doesn't every guy friend notice that stuff?

Oh crap the suns coming up and school starts in a few hours...I'll try to get some sleep but I'm just..so confused.

* * *

It's really awkward between us right now, she hasn't spoken to me and she keeps avoiding me. I don't know what to do! Like I said she's not...unattractive I just… she's my friend! But even if I did like her that way, I'm just a tiny ant; there's nothing about me to be attracted too! (except my awesome skills in basketball)

This is really bad isn't it! The school trip is coming up soon and I'm certain we'll all be hanging out, I mean I would have liked to but if she's going to be like this from now on are we even still friends? Am I supposed to give her a reply or just a yes or no answer?

* * *

I tried talking to her today and she ran off…. Idiot! I'm trying not to lose what we have!

School trip is in a few days and I'm dreading it. I've not slept properly and mom keeps asking what's wrong! What's wrong? My best friend is in love with me and I don't know what to do about it, I - I need to read back through my previous entries to do some thinking.

Nakao told me not to stress too much and just tell her what I'm thinking right now umm how do I put ASDFGHJKJHGFDSAL into words!

-

It took me a good few hours but I re-read through my journal.

Hot damn I can write, I accidentally smacked my head on my desk in class from cringing..do I really write about that idiot THAT much? From what I can understand…I do like her.

But she is my friend. And I'm...I'm no good.

* * *

Ugh I'm really tempted to skip this school trip and ring in sick, but I've been looking forward to it for awhile now…

With everything going on lately I've not really had anyone to talk to properly; I mean apart from the others but they're not the same; I'm kind of lonely right now.

-

I can't sleep. It's just turned midnight, my bags all packed for Hokkaido in the morning but I can't SLEEP.

-

It's 2:45am now… I've been tossing and turning for the past two hours, maybe some tv or something might help?

-

There's nothing on tv...of COURSE there's nothing on you idiot. Its 4am! I'll go make sure my bags packed one more time, oh and passport; can't forget that!

-

5am… please dear lord let me SLEEP. I've taken drastic action! Mom had some sleeping tablets in the bathroom so I just bit half of one, I don't want to sleep through my alarm!

Speaking of my alarm I should really make sure its

I don't believe this! That stupid sleeping tablet was EXTRA strong! I wouldn't have even woken up if my sister hadn't banged down my door this morning. You'll never guess who else overslept today…..

Yep. We're both sat next to each other at the airport right now, it's so damn awkward. I know what I need to say but I've got to find the right timing, Koizumi is really sensitive and I don't want to upset her again.

I can tell I'm not the only one who hates this weird tension. Ugh I need to say something, I don't like awkward silences!

This is one of the worst days I think I've ever had so far. We had to get another plane to Hokkaido because our flight had already taken off. Koizumis glued to a dvd right now, thankgod. I keep catching her looking at me so I'm holding my journal at a weird angle in case she can read this.

Oh! I asked her to confirm if it was really me she liked; you can never be too sure, she screamed and said something about it hurting to ask so directly so I'm guessing that's a yes. I did apologize for brushing her off though, apparently she tried telling me multiple times?

I don't know why but I told her to give me some time...time for what? A response?

I really hate this, why couldn't she like another guy! Why did it have to be me!

-

Oh my god FINALLY. Sensei said the flight was only 2 hours long, it felt like 60. She didn't budge from that dvd once or even try talk to me. Pretty sure even Sensei picked up on that atmosphere…

We're finally on the bus to the hotel now and Naoko is next to me, but he's really pissing me off (and I know you're trying to read this GO AWAY NAOKO) we can hear Koizumi complaining from the front of the bus and he keeps asking me all sorts of questions and telling me things I already know!

Whatever I'm going back to sleep seeing as I haven't been getting much lately.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the awkward rejection in the school trip Otani tries to salvage his friendship with Koizumi.

I really did it this time.

I was woken up by the sounds of "WAIT DON'T GO!" and opened my eyes to find some pocky in my mouth, we'd both been left behind on the bus by everyone again...which means she fell asleep again too.

Hold on to your butt Atsushi because today is a long entry:

We were stuck together for most of today because everyone left and that horrible tension came straight back, luckily there was a rickshaw and we both enjoyed our time riding through town on it. I started to feel like we could get back to normal again.

Then Nobu-chan had to open her big mouth and ask if things were ok with us and I remembered the awkwardness so I ran away… told them I was thirsty and I'd be right back. It was a good excuse but I spent ages trying to reach the bear curry my friend asked me to pick up, that's when it all went to hell.

Koizumi followed me to the store and saw me struggling to reach the shelf, she grabbed it with ease and it reminded me how useless I was, and if I were to give this relationship a go then I wouldn't be able to protect her how a man should. Not if I can't even do the simplest of things!

So I rejected her...she ran to Nobu and Naoko acting as if everything was fine, but then started sobbing, hard. She could barely talk. I wanted to go and tell her that I was sorry for everything but it would just make things worse.

I've hurt her so much already but I can't see myself with her like that, and I'm not sure I ever will.

I like our friendship as it is and if I go out with someone like that I don't think it'd work out.

It's currently 11pm, I can't stop thinking about Koizumi and how upset she is right now. Nobu and Naoko have been screaming at me all evening but I told them it's not like I don't like her, I just can't see that image. I may not have used the best analogy and said that she is a pickled radish not a crab; that got me a smack across the face.

I tried talking to her after the meal to make amends and she acted like normal but even I'm not that dense, I know she's faking being ok about it all, she told me to never speak of it again but is that really what she wants?

* * *

Ah back to normal! I'll start at the beginning.

So I didn't get much sleep again (when did that become a habit) and Koizumi smacked me across the face to wake me up, she had a beaming smile though so I'm happy she's feeling better now. It looks like I was overthinking it.

We're hanging out tomorrow because Koizumi found a magazine article from Umibouzo recommending a bunch of places around here!

I made sure that she was ok with going around with me and she said she was fine, man I'm so excited! We have to try EVERYTHING he mentioned!

* * *

WE MET UMIBOUZO, WE MET UMIBOUZO! I think I can die happily now…

This morning we were off to a great start and we tried most of what was in the magazines, Koizumi acted like her old self again which was great! (There was a moment after some girls asked me to take their picture where Koizumi looked like she was sort of spaced out though)

But as we were getting ready to head back to the meeting point she realized she lost her purse! IDIOT. (I'll forgive her because its thanks to that we met our god)

We looked EVERYWHERE we had been during the day for that damn purse but I was determined to do something good for her after being the cause of her crying so much lately… anyway we were headed back from the police station, Koizumi started crying again and that's when I saw him! With a wife! And a kid! He is sooooo cool in person! I mean I know we've seen him loads of times in concerts but I actually got to speak to the guy! We shared a taxi with him and his wife and kid to the hotel and I noticed that after talking with his wife Koizumi seemed cheery again; no idea what they talked about but I'm glad it helped.

The funny thing is after we got back to the hotel Sensei took us all on a cable car and we got to see a beautiful view of Hokkaido from the top of the hill, and that's when Koizumi told me she was "taking back the let's pretend nothing happened", told me she loves me?! And to remember it.

I honestly didn't know what to say, I mean.. I'll remember if that's what she wants.

On another note; I've never had someone tell me they love me to my face before, not even Kanzaki.

* * *

We're back at school now, the trip overall was...memorable. At least it wasn't all bad! Koizumi and I have been back to our old selves again, I really missed our joking around and it looks like the awkward atmosphere has gone (although I keep being hit with the realization she's in love with me)

I'm hanging out with Naoko and Suzuki-kun this weekend and I'm pretty sure Koizumi is going to be the number one topic….sigh.

* * *

Well I was right, it's all we talked about. We talked about how I saw her, if I thought she was attractive, the confession(s) and how those two felt bad for her. Thankfully I managed to change the topic and we played some games and ordered some pizza.

* * *

Same old same old today, everyone teasing me, Koizumi being the big idiot she is falling asleep in class and screaming about summon monsters.

Bumped into an old middle school friend today at the cafe and he's invited me to the Christmas party this year; last year I didn't go because of Umibouzo and Koizumi but I should be free this time so I've agreed to it.

The Amazon and I hung out after school today; it's been awhile since it was just the two of us. Lately she's saying the most random things! She sighed into her hot chocolate and mentioned how fast a year had gone hahah, she sounds like an old hag! Though to be honest she's right, I feel like my youth is fleeting away with all this drama...I thought I was going to have a quiet high school life.

Oh but then she started asking me all sorts of questions about my ex again? I swear what goes through her head, she is way too interested in my past.

* * *

She's being weird again! Acting like she's cute and trying to flirt...I think? She really doesn't suit it and looks so awkward hahaha, I think maybe Nobu and Naoko told her to act this way..they're always interfering.

* * *

*sigh* I ended up inviting her to the Christmas party…

She asked if I had any plans this year and then looked all depressed and ugly when I said I wasn't free, so she's coming and I just got wind that Kanzaki is coming too.

this..will be interesting.

* * *

Mom measured me for the first time in ages and..I've not grown even 1 mm! I wanted to die when she told me, and my stupid sister couldn't stop laughing!

I thought this was like the perfect age for a growth spurt too… I'm going to ask Mimi to double my milk order this week, I need to grow at least 10cm before university.

* * *

The Christmas party is in a weeks time, looking forward to seeing all my old friends again..Kanzaki not so much if I'm completely honest, I'm just going to feel awkward around her and I'm pretty sure Koizumi is going to pick up on that and misunderstand.

My fingers are frozen so I'm going to stop here, I could really do with a pair of gloves...

* * *

Nothing really happened today, I hung out with Naoko and Suzuki after school and the girls all went shopping. AGH I didn't get to tell Koizumi about Umibouzos new album dropping out! She will be psyched!

* * *

An eventful night! I just got home from karaoke and got some kickass gloves… I'll bring you up to speed now:

We all played basketball except for the idiot and Nobu (who goes to a basketball christmas party and doesn't bring appropriate clothes or doesn't know how to play?) It's clear to me that Koizumi only wanted to come to keep an eye on me and Kanzaki because she was SO obviously happy when the guys mentioned she didn't turn up. I mean I was too but I'm her ex so I have the right! I sort of understand though, Koizumi was very shocked when I first told her I'd been in a relationship before (if you can call it a relationship) so she probably feels threatened.

I think Kou (one of my middle school friends) is interested in Koizumi, he asked me if I was into her and I was honest and said that I wasn't sure how I felt. After that awkward moment I blew off some steam and scored a few goals, because let's not forget how awesome I am!

Oh! I'm forgetting the best part. - 20 points on my story telling.

Koizumi and I got trapped in the storage locker (remind me to hit Naoko tomorrow) and SOMEONE told her about when it happened with Kanzaki...oh man I could die, that's so embarrassing! (Nothing happened in that locker with Kanzaki OK? I..I fainted when I told her I liked her and if anyone found out about that I'd have to move countries.)

Ahem..moving on.

Koizumi asked me about it and started crying...again. (that woman could cry an actual lake, which is funny because her name means little spring) That's when she threw a present at me, I felt kind of guilty at first because I didn't get her anything, I mean why would I it's not like we're going out or anything?

But then she stressed she didn't expect anything in return and..it made me happy. I've been needing a pair of gloves for awhile and I didn't think she'd pay attention to that sort of thing, so it is kind of funny to me an airhead like that could be so sweet.

I knelt down right in front of her and asked if she liked me that much and that's when she got all embarrassed and started banging the door down to be let out...oh and she threw a ball at my face. It sure is funny when she's flustered!

* * *

It's winter break right now, too cold to practice basketball so I've just been hanging out with the guys and playing some games. I've not seen Koizumi since the party and she's not been responding to my texts so I'm guessing she's busy with her own stuff, eh I'll see her at the shrine on News years; i- it's not like I'm worried or anything.

* * *

My mom went shopping today and bought me some awesome shades, I don't really need glasses but they look so cool! I think I'll wear them tomorrow.

* * *

Oh man I'm tired! Me and Koizumi went to karaoke again, we must have gone through Umibouzos discography..and my throat is so sore from yelling.

The shrine was pretty hilarious, so err I didn't think those glasses would have any effect on her but when Koizumi saw me her face went bright red and she fell on the floor muttering about dying hahaha idiot! She made me feel good about myself though.

The hilarity continued when we were praying with our coins and she looked like she was summoning a demon or something (I swear I saw black smoke coming out of her) well whatever she was so focused on I hope it comes true!

* * *

Ran into an old school friend again whilst taking the dog out for a walk, they're having another get together soon! If it means I get to play more basketball I'm definitely going.

School starts again tomorrow, the last semester of my 2nd year...I wonder if anything interesting is going to happen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otani is invited to another basketball get together with his old middle school friends.

Well Koizumi was trying to flirt...badly again. For some strange reason she bumped into Kanzaki earlier and started imitating her..badly. She pulled this cutesy face and called me Atsushi! It scared the crap out of me!

I invited her to the get-together again, I mean if I didn't invite her I'm sure Naoko and Nobu would've anyway.

* * *

I read the other day that running and other cardio can help your leg muscles and stamina so I've taken up jogging around the park after my supper, maybe it could help me grow?

* * *

Back from my jog! Nothing really interesting is happening in school, its boring and we're studying for exams again. The get together is this weekend so at least that's something to look forward to.

* * *

I invited Koizumi to the cinema today, this new action movie came out and I really wanted to see it but no one else would come, I figured it was fine.

We had a lot of fun mocking the cheesy plot and the crappy special effects.

* * *

EHHH! My sister just came into my room and asked if I had a girlfriend or something because she's noticed I'm spending a lot of time out of the house and coming back really late! I told her no it's just my best friend there's nothing going on, but she won't believe me!

God forbid she finds out my best friend is a girl.

* * *

Hah I'm back late again (can't wait to be interrogated by my family) I ended up at karaoke with the amazon.

From the start the get-together was awful. It was just a set up by the guys to get me back together with Kanzaki. She turned up this time too, I felt so exhausted just being in the same room as her, it wasn't feelings of love or anything just...awkwardness.

Koizumi really wasn't happy about it, she kept trying to distract me from talking to Kanzaki (though I'm secretly thankful for that, I really didn't want to talk to her) by throwing balls at me and asking me to teach her how to play basketball.

She left all of a sudden looking really upset and that's when Kanzaki hinted about getting back together?! UGH. I was really uncomfortable at that point and I was worried about Koizumi, so I told Kanzaki that I probably shouldn't see her anymore because if I'm completely honest I don't want to see her anymore, I've moved on.

I ran to the bridge near the train station and finally found her moping, I told her exactly what I thought of Kanzaki now and that I wouldn't be seeing her again because I know it bugs her...I may have said something without thinking too.

I'm aware that idiot is jealous and feels threatened by Kanzaki. I already feel bad enough already about always making her depressed.

Maybe I'm more suited to being with someone like Koizumi; we have a lot of fun together and I don't have to pretend to be someone else around her.

* * *

Oh crap I forgot it was Valentines Day soon! I'm sure that's why Koizumi has been acting strange again, heh I guess I'll be getting chocolates from her this year. I can't say no after what happened last year, I felt so bad.

Actually that's a thought, when did she start liking me?

* * *

Hah I was right. She asked me if I got any chocolates last year so I told her about those girls that used to come and watch me play. USED TO. As soon as we got freshmen they flocked over to them anyway.

But at least I will get some chocolates regardless this year, I really wanted some.

* * *

Another...eventful day.

Basically my reputation is ruined, that prick Haruka came barging into our classroom today after first period and demanded (INFRONT OF EVERYONE) to know why I rejected Koizumi! This happened right after I invited her to come with me to see Umibouzo too! UGH.

He started spouting all sorts of crap calling me a playboy who likes to toy with girls feelings, it's not like that all! Koizumi is my friend and of course I'm going to hang out with her still. I never pretended to be interested! I was completely honest with her back in Hokkaido that I do have some sort of thing for her. It's just not enough... romantically.

Thankfully Koizumi smacked him around a bit which I was really grateful for, she dragged him off and then that's when the crap hit the fan. EVERYONE in class started screaming at me and accusing me of being a playboy, they said I was an idiot; that Koiziumi is a really nice girl (I KNOW SHE IS! BUT THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM.)

As everyone was yelling at me I heard Koizumi and Haruka yelling at each other outside the classroom, she seemed to be standing up for me thankgod. I couldn't hear exactly what was said but he yelled about not caring anymore and stormed off.

Good riddance.

The thing is, am I a playboy? Have I actually been taking advantage of Koizumi this whole time. When I'm around her I feel happy because I can be myself, if she pisses me off I can show her that; unlike with other girls. Maybe asking for the chocolate is going too far…

Am I stringing her along?

* * *

I asked Naoko about it today… I wish I hadn't.

I asked if I wasn't sensitive enough and repeated what the prick said about me and even Naoko thinks I am playing around with her! UGH. He went on to say that when I talk to Koizumi I seem like I'm attracted to her and asked if I want to be her boyfriend.

I have a really hard time picturing me and Koizumi doing that sort of stuff...kissing, hugging, sharing food…the-the other thing. I'm not going to mention the other thing because it causes cold sweats more; but the kissing….

Koizumi is a lot taller than me, and even just being next to her when we're talking I have to look up, how on earth would it look if I kissed her? I would at least have to stand on my tip toes… it would look ridiculous!

This brings me to the main problem:

As a man I should feel something thinking about that sort of thing, but right now I feel nothing.

There's no spark or urge to do weird things when we're alone together and my heart doesn't race like all the books say it should do. I just get this weird stirring in my chest, I feel embarrassed too but who wouldn't be when thinking of their friends in this sort of way.

I've rambled a bit but Naoko basically said every casual comment like that confuses Koizumi.

I really shouldn't accept that chocolate now should I? If it's going to be leading her on.

* * *

Before I got a chance to talk about the chocolate Koizumi rushed off to see Seiko-chan and the prick. Ughhhhh I get the feeling I'm too late to take it back now.

But it wouldn't feel right accepting it, not after I know it makes her confused.

* * *

"Stupid midget" that's what my chocolate says! I accepted in the end but not of my own doing, that idiot actually LAUNCHED the box at my head! I've got a huge bump under my bangs and I had to lie and tell Mom I walked into a street lamp on the way home.

It happened like this:

I was on my way from practice and she appeared with a small box, crap. My own fault because I never got the chance to tell her not to make me any. I didn't want to lead her on or confuse her anymore so I told her I didn't want it and I couldn't accept her feelings because my own feelings are still unclear. (read the big ramble above from the other day). She was pretty pissed and I don't blame her.

Luckily one of the freshmen interrupted us and called me over so I ran out of there fast! But as I was coming back from talking to the coach she appeared and threw the box at full strength at me, ordering me to accept it! And then told me she never thought I was dense, a playboy or anything and that I've not done anything wrong in her eyes, it's her that feels bad for not giving up on me.

I was sort of touched honestly, I think she is the only person that understands my true intentions right now. I'm still pissed that she threw the box at me, and of course that it says stupid midget on the cake.

* * *

Koizumi came into class today with another cake, apparently Haruka was the one who wrote that on it because he was angry with us both. What an asshole! The cake was good though, regardless of the manner it was given in.

I think we've made up again at the very least.

* * *

Hmmm she's acting angry again lately...I have a feeling Naoko told her something unnecessary and I REALLY pray it's nothing to do with the talk we had last week.

I'm going for another run, I have to be up early tomorrow to wait in line for our Umibouzo tickets.

* * *

Well I gave her the tickets and she instantly cheered up like usual. She was pretty impressed that I got us front row seats, I'm good like that aren't I?

I'm not sure I can wait a whole month!

* * *

A girl confessed to me today, one of the girls that used to watch me play. I was in utter shock because I don't know her well and right now I need to concentrate on the situation with Koizumi, so I turned her down. Thankfully after I did she told me she's not interested in going out with me; she just wanted to know how she felt before she graduated. She said that she never felt like she had a chance with me because of Koizumi.

I'm not telling anyone about this, not even Naoko because I know exactly who's ears it will reach and I really don't need the stress, and maybe..I don't want her feeling sad because of me again.

But hah, we even look like a couple to outsiders?

* * *

Koizumi came to watch me practice again, she told me how cool I was when I played haha, yep I am aren't I?

* * *

Ugh I think I'm coming down with something, I just got back from my run and I feel weaker than usual...my birthdays coming up so maybe it's a sign of getting older?

* * *

I didn't go to school today, I have a temperature and I can barely get out of bed. Naoko texted me to ask if I was alright.

* * *

Mom just went out shopping and brought me some painkillers, saying if it gets worse I might have to go to the doctors! Ugh it's Umibouzo next week, I really hope I'm feeling better by then!

* * *

It's been awhile since I last wrote!

I just got back from Umibouzo, he was amazing as always! Koizumi seemed to be in a really bad mood though, she didn't even stay to pick up some merchandise. I knew I'd never hear the end of it so I've got her a towel. She wore a facemask and her voice was hoarse so maybe that's what got her in a bad mood…(kind of a funny coincidence she gets ill right after me huh).

So I was pretty sick for all of last week and only started feeling better today. Koizumi actually turned up at my house yesterday because she was worried about me. She said some silly things like she wouldn't go to the concert if I couldn't go (so that's why I worked hard to rest so I could come today).

I ended up telling her about my problem with the whole lack of urges thing and she leant right in front of my face and asked if she was that unattractive? Unfortunately my fever came back full force and I don't remember what happened next except when I came around there was cake all in my hair.

Oh yeah! I'm 17 now, being ill on my birthday sucked but my Mom thought it would be alright to feed a sick person cake? Ugh and my mom and sister are totally thinking Koizumi is my girlfriend, as soon as I came home they were pestering me about when my "beautiful girlfriend" was coming over again and asked how long we'd been going out..

* * *

Ahh it's spring break! A whole week off and I'm not sure what I want to do, I might invite Koizumi to the CD store tomorrow and we can go to the cafe or something. Naoko and Suzuki are too busy with their girlfriends.

* * *

I ended up going alone to the CD store, Koizumi has been ignoring my texts; I wonder if she's still sick from the concert?

* * *

Ok it's been three whole days and still nothing! Should I go visit her house? Or would that be too much…

I'm going to ask Naoko tomorrow when he comes over if he knows anything.

* * *

Even Naoko doesn't know if she's ok, apparently her phone has been off the whole of spring break! I was about to make my way to her house to check if she's still alive but Nobu-chan texted him to say she was over there and that the idiot is fine. She's just been attached to her silly games the entire break!

RUDE. To think I was actually worried about her and she couldn't tear herself away to respond to my texts.

* * *

We're entering our third and final year at Maido high tomorrow. It's crazy how fast my school life has gone, after this coming summer we won't have time to do fun stuff anymore because it'll be exam after exam.. I'm a little sad because I don't know what everyone is doing after school and we probably won't all be together like now.

Well maybe Koizumi and I can still hang out, I'm not sure about the others.

Oh I FINALLY got a text back from the big otaku idiot. She apologized because she "thought she'd texted me back but forgot to press send, but she wasn't going to be able to hang out anyway" How rude!

Is that how you treat someone you like?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maity makes his appearance.

I...I don't know what to say. That girl has well and truly lost it! I'm on my lunch right now but I had to write this incase I forget.

Koizumi was still in a bad mood at the entrance this morning, and then she… she grabbed me by the collar and kept muttering about me forgetting something! That's not the worst part! She yanked me right up to her face and asked me to give her back her first kiss?!

**W H A T**

I told her she needed to get a handle on reality and fantasy and before I know it she'll show up with a marriage certificate and tell me we got married!

She's just stepped out with Nobu-chan, yeah good. She needs some fresh air!

WHO THE HELL IS THIS CREEP! MAITY SENSEI MAITY SENSEI, it's all I've frigging heard since lunch! Koizumi is acting...strange, she seems to have calmed down since this morning though. But thanks to that idiot and her big mouth we're both class reps, I don't have time for that. I'm the captain of the basketball team now!

I gave her the towel from Umibouzo after school, finally. And I asked if something happened that day she came round? It made sense to me at the time because she only started being moody at the concert and she said I forgot so maybe I said or did something bad when my fever came back? She yelled at me that nothing happened but with that reaction I know something did...but what was it.

What would make her so mad?

* * *

…..Koizumi forced a kiss on me today. She said I kissed her when I had a fever! But why would she kiss me like that?! Why would I kiss her?!

I need to take a walk. I'll write more when I've processed what's happened.

I can't sleep. The walk didn't help at all.

Today was bizarre. I mean obviously that kiss was the strangest part of it…

I fell asleep in class this morning; I've been so exhausted lately. That creepy disgusting Maity blew into my ear to wake me up, it still gives me the chills if I think about it.

Back to the main topic - I met with her after basketball practice to go help her finish the new register (oh we're in the same class again, all 6 of us) and she seemed to be in a good mood, at first but she kept mentioning _him_. I asked her if she liked him and she said she did! How on earth would you like someone like that? He's so gross!

Just before she did the unthinkable I did however remember what happened at my house that time, there was a grain of rice stuck to her hair and I wanted to take it out in a subtle manner. But she told me I didn't take the rice and instead I took her lips?

Then she grabbed me and kissed me. Like no joke, she pulled me up off the ground and violated me.

Right after she kissed me she told me that I must have just bumped her lips when the fever struck, and that I still couldn't see her as a girl...that's when she ran off crying yelling that she'd stop loving me!

But I can't stop thinking about it, I feel all hot and floaty, when she told me she was going to stop loving me my chest hurt.

Am I coming down with something again?

* * *

I tried talking to Koizumi about what happened yesterday, but then that horrible guy showed up! I didn't care about him being there so I asked why she was ignoring me after stealing a kiss from me and if she was done with me now she'd had her fill. "Hit and run" I think are the words I used.

Shouldn't have done that; the idiot got all flustered and smacked me hard across the mouth; right infront of him! He laughed (creepy laugh) and asked if we were going out and smirked at her when she said no.

After that she just ignored me all day.

* * *

I think she's moved on to him. She's still ignoring me and all I hear is maity this maity that.

During lunch break Maity's stupid fangirls were trying to guess how old he was and she was ogling him too. He's an old man! 24.

I'm 17, the same age as her. if you're gonna like someone you should like someone in your age group!

* * *

I told Naoko and Suzuki about the kiss today. They noticed I was spaced out a lot lately.

I'm surprised because they both seemed really shocked when I told them, so I'm guessing Koizumi didn't mention anything about it to even Nobu-chan. Which is strange because she usually has loose lips over things that happen between us.

Anyway, they said I attacked Koizumi! I'm the one who was attacked and then thrown to the side like a toy she didn't want to play with anymore. Naoko kept repeating that Koizumi has gone through a lot of trouble because she really loves me, I know that idiots! I feel awful about all the trouble I've put her through; but she's giving up on me now.

So it's ok right? The pain in my chest is just heartburn from stress….right?

I spoke to my sister about it after supper, I told her it was a friend's issue not mine and I was just worried about them. She told me the "friend" is a bigger idiot than me and that he's overthinking things.

* * *

She's moved on…

Another stressful day at school.

I wanted to talk to Koizumi properly, about the kiss and what happened at my house; that I felt a weird feeling when she said she was going to stop loving me. But Nobu-chan told me she started a stupid club dedicated to HIM! WHAT! (I didn't get an otani fanclub)

I finally got her on her way from that stupid club and ugh, I felt really awkward, when we're alone I just remember the kiss now.

I apologized for when I had a fever and she asked me if I was saying sorry for forgetting that I kissed her or for not seeing her as a girl. That's when it hit me; my sisters words about overthinking; Koizumi may act like a guy sometimes and pull gross faces but she is actually rather good looking. She has a nice figure and her eyes get all sparkly when she's happy.

That's when she snapped me out of what felt like a trance and told me she was sorry for troubling me all this time and not to worry; and walked out of the room.

I wanted to tell her that I did see her as a girl! I'm only just starting to realize; but if she gives up does it mean the end of our friendship?

This is when the worst happened, I threw the door open to chase after her and I saw her crying and being held by him… all I could think was get your greasy old man hands off her right now; but then I realized how much I've hurt her and I have no right to say anything anymore.

This sucks.

* * *

That stupid STUPID MEDDLING MAITY BASTARD!

UGH.

Koizumi was ignoring me again, practicing with her bullshit Maity club. And then HE decided to butt in to my basketball practice because he was temporarily replacing our coach, UGH. Anyway I lost… I can't believe I lost to someone like _him._

So he not only took my pride he decided he'd take my friend too, after the match he dared to ask me if I'm the one who's been making Koizumi cry so much lately and that girls are hurt easily and I need to be gentle! So annoying! THEN he asked me how I felt about Koizumi and said he'd take her for himself LIKE HELL THAT'D HAPPEN. I got so angry about it I just exploded and said I didn't care about her; but that's not true I do care! He just pissed me off and I wanted him to go away.

That's when I looked over his shoulder….she had heard the whole thing! I really think I've done it this time, she acted super creepy and happy and then ran off saying she's going home early.

That guy ran off after her before I could even react.

I got an absolute earful from the others! They made me stay late at school and help clean. Nobu-chan was furious with me and said Maity was a much nicer guy than me! PFT YEAH RIGHT.

* * *

She was late for school today, she barely made it before lunch. Everyone keeps yelling at me and Nobu-chan told me I need to make it up to her. Why should I have to be the one to apologize? It's all Maitys fault!

I tried talking to her about what happened and what I said but she just brushed me off and then Sensei butted in.

This isn't good, I need to tell her that I didn't mean what I said! Suzuki suggested I should just call her or text her but after what happened in spring break what are the chances she ignores my calls and pretends not to read my texts?

Ugh she's pissing me off so much! This whole thing is so stupid! Stupid amazon, street lamp giraffe giantess IDIOT.

* * *

UGH. We just had a huge fight right outside.

And I've sprained my stupid ankle thanks to that disgusting guy! Oh AND Naoko told me I'm jealous about all the attention she's been giving Maity? HAH I'm not jealous I just can't stand the guy, I don't get what she sees in him and I'm sick of her talking about him.

…ok maybe I am a _tiny_ bit jealous.

So creepy mccreepperson challenged me to a 1 on 1 match again, and told me if I wasn't feeling upto it it'd be a problem for him because HE wanted to show Koizumi his good side! I accepted his challenge because no way am I going to let him look cool in front of her, I'm the one that she thinks is cool.

Long story short I fell over a ball because I wasn't paying attention and I've sprained my ankle, Koizumi ended up bringing me home on the back of a bike after yelling at me to shut up and get on.

It was kind of awkward because we didn't start talking until we reached the end of my street. She asked if I was depressed? No I'm just pissed off and I asked her what she even saw in that ass.

She said _Maity_ was good and I was trash. And if she doesn't act like this she won't be able to move on from me because I'm a midget who always speaks without thinking! This is when I just lost it completely!

I was so angry I said she's the one who's speaking without thinking! After confessing her love a few times, FORCING A KISS ON ME, said she would give up on me, screamed loudly and then just couldn't be bothered anymore! I told her I couldn't stand her anymore, always going on and on about him and that I don't ever want her to mention his name again!

After that I slammed the front door and my Mom asked what on earth just happened; I don't want to talk to anyone so I've got my headphones on and turned my phone off.

I need a shower to calm down.

I might text her later we'll see, I feel bad about what I said.

* * *

I couldn't send the text in the end, hah. What sort of man have I become?

Well I should be at practice right now but because of this damn sprain I have to sit in the classroom until the bell rings. This morning could've gone better, she came up to ask if I was ok and I just bit her head off. I'm just so frustrated, stressed and sick of thinking about everything! I still feel all weird and tingly when I see her; ESPECIALLY when HE'S with her!

I miss when we used to just laugh and joke and talk about Umibouzo; I don't think we've hung out since the new term started...

Oh god she's coming this way, please just leave me alone.

I really have gone off the deep end.

Koizumi asked if I wanted her to take me home again and I initially just wanted her to leave me alone so I refused. Then dickface turned up and asked if I'd upset her again, then he GRABBED HER BY THE WAIST AND SMIRKED AT ME. I've never felt rage like that in my life, I had to get his greasy. dirty. disgusting. paws off her so I pulled her away and warned him that I was the one who she loved, not him!

On the way home she told me she doesn't love me anymore and that she's given up.

The truth is I don't WANT her to give up. But does that mean I want to be with her as a boyfriend?

* * *

It's the middle of class and I'm having really weird thoughts. Koizumi has looked over a few times at me and I feel all sweaty and nervous, especially after what I said yesterday. Oh and last night I dreamt that I was invited to her and Maitys wedding…. Would you believe I woke up with a wet face? I've not cried since my ex dumped me and it was mostly because I was upset about my height, what on earth is wrong with me! It's got to just be the stress!

Oh crap! I just made eye contact with her and ducked my head down on my desk, why am I feeling so strange all of a sudden! I've looked at her plenty of times but now I feel like I can't even look at her in the eyes anymore.

MAITY IS HARUKAS COUSIN! No WONDER he pisses me off so much!

I'm just sat watching everyone practice right now so I thought I'd update on whats happened since this morning:

On my way over here Seiko-chan and _Haruka_ showed up to talk to Koizumi, assface laughed about me being injured and Seiko made things awkward and asked if Koizumi was worried about me, I mean probably not seeing as she's fallen out of love with me right.

Then assface told us he was supporting amazons love for Maity because he likes him too and he's his cousin! Oh and I'm "not cool and a midget, Maity is a better fit for her". That really pissed me off so I just left without saying goodbye.

I'll start at the beginning for this. Especially for that dramatic build up (I sound like I'm going to publish this one day, jeez I'm an idiot)

Koizumi turned up at my practice again, asking if I wanted another ride home. I declined but then she started teasing me about the embarrassing things I said yesterday. I apologized for the way I acted and she told me I should treat her to something so we made plans to go to sing some karaoke.

On our way out of school that disgusting old man teased me about my height and said things about Koizumi being a nice girl, she was worried about me and still loves me regardless of my height. Then he asked me something else… he asked if I was really ok if she got stolen away by another guy and told me to stop thinking so hard and be honest with myself. (the exact same things my sister said).

After saying all that he walked off and that's when she appeared with the bike with a huge grin on her face, and that's when I noticed how.... beautiful she can be. (I snapped my pen writing that word)

Her smile could cure world hunger and it just makes me want to smile like an idiot with her.

Initially when Haruka first turned up I felt insecure because someone was taking my friend away. When Maity first showed up it was that same insecurity but stronger and more hate filled; he's right about one thing though. I do not want anyone to take her from me. I want to be the only one to experience this side of her.

Ahem.

So we went to karaoke and had a lot of fun, I paid because I owed her after all the trouble and I think we must have been there for a good 4 hours. My throat is on fire from singing so much right now. After that I decided I'll be the one to take her home and that's where the interesting thing happened.

She called me weak so I used all the strength I had built up from my running routine and we just started laughing like a pair of idiots, but then she started talking about wanting to go back to normal comedy partners and she really was going to stop. I told her "don't stop!" hoping she'd realize what I mean, also that things felt different with her now and I was just annoyed because she was always talking about Maity; but I definitely don't want her to stop loving me.

Then she started to say something but sighed and put her head against my shoulder… my heart nearly fell out of my chest!

It's taken me a while to piece together everything,but since I came home tonight and read my sisters magazines on the issue, and I know you shouldn't google your symptoms but; I did.

I've got my final match this weekend to focus on right now; but after everything she's done for me, to me and with me...

I think I can finally admit that I...might be in love with Koizumi.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koizumi's birthday is around the corner.

So... I dreamt about Koizumi last night and when I woke up this morning...

...

I can definitely confirm that I like her more than a friend. I'm not saying anything else, _work it out for yourself_.

.

I won against that Maity bastard haha! YES! Koizumi definitely noticed how awesome I looked today, she's acting like she doesn't feel anything but I'll make her fall for me again. I can promise that much.

.

She's coming to support my final match this weekend and bringing lemons in honey haha, should I confess before? After? What if she rejects me? Ugh I'm starting to realize how much torture this must have been for her.

We ended up walking around and had a couple of drinks in the cafe before coming home. It got me thinking actually; If we did go out as boyfriend and girlfriend I don't actually think much would change, we don't have to lose our friendship we can still talk about Umibouzo and play games together just with the added bonus of holding hands, kissing and other couple stuff..right?

I'm off for a quick run, I need to be in top form for this match! Plus I'm feeling really itchy thinking of telling Koizumi how I feel.

* * *

I came to school in such a great mood today, the world feels a lot more colourful after I've realized what I feel. AND I'm super excited for my final match! We've worked so hard this past year and our team looks great.

Oh and I had to tease Koizumi a bit just to throw her off! I told her she might fall for me again if she sees how awesome I am tomorrow! She looks kind of cute when she's shocked like that.

Ugh so our opponents are….last years champions! Forget what I said about the team being great, and DEFINITELY about me confessing to Koizumi; how embarrassing would it be to confess your love after losing a game? Nope. not happening.

I'm going for another run in the park, the match is tomorrow and I need to shake off the feeling of defeat.

* * *

I'm not taking my journal with me today but I'm writing this here;

If we win today I'll confess my feelings, if we lose I'll wait for a more appropriate time.

I basically confessed and.. SHE FELL ASLEEP! We lost too… I know I wrote this morning that I'd find a more appropriate time if we lost but that idiot really helped my confidence today, she made this massive banner for me and some otani fanclub headbands for everyone; I couldn't stop smiling after she punched me to cheer me up!

After the match she told me she fell for me again, which made me even happier. That's why I thought the timing was right, we sat outside on the bench and I had to eat rice wine...lemons (she had no honey apparently) they weren't great but they weren't terrible.

I told her I was really grateful for the pep talk and all the support she gave me, because if it wasn't for her trying so hard all the time I don't think I'd have given it my all and that I'm just no good without her. That's when she fell asleep!

Oh well… I guess I'll keep it to myself for now.

* * *

Summer break starts soon so maybe I'll get a chance sooner than I think.

* * *

We're not getting a summer vacation… I knew I'd flunk the exams but jeez that's harsh of Sensei.

EVERYONE HEARD ME! Those sneaky bastards! They kept teasing me about it right in front of Koizumi; thankfully she's an idiot!

Ahh and it's her birthday soon, I've got to make a mental note of that.

Hmmmm wait, didn't she confess to me on her birthday last year?

* * *

Well apparently she doesn't WANT a birthday present, so I guess I'm not confessing! I mean if she's going to be like that why should I waste my energy.

Ugh Naoko and Suzuki dragged me out shopping after school; we ended up in this really girly store and I know exactly why they dragged me in there. She told me she didn't want anything!

Wouldn't it be uncool and not manly of me to go against her wishes?

* * *

I was invited to her birthday party tomorrow, but I'm not going, she doesn't want me to celebrate with her! She keeps asking me about what the others are talking about; like hell I'll repeat those words again!

I don't even know what I would get her as a present even if she did want something; I've noticed she wears a lot of rabbit stuff so I guess something like that? No. I'm not buying anything. Forget it.

* * *

Her party is later and I'm still not sure if I should go or not. I haven't gotten her anything and it's getting harder for me to keep these emotions to myself.

She looks really pretty today; who would've thought I'd ever think that about her haha.

My life feels like a joke sometimes.

I ended up coming home. But I don't feel right about leaving; I've decided I'm going to buy her a damn present if she likes it or not! And to hell with everything I'm going to tell her how I feel! I just need to run to the store before it's too late.

Good luck future Atsushi-sama

* * *

OH MY GOD.

When I left earlier everything that could ever go wrong went wrong; Mom demanded that I help wash up, take the dog for a walk etc. I told her I needed to be somewhere asap and she asked if it was to go see the "beautiful girl" I just nodded and said I NEEDED to leave like right there and then!

She ended up driving me to the girly store and waited outside, god it was awkward; I was the only guy in there and I ended up buying this cutesy rabbit necklace. Mom drove me to where the party was held and gave me a bag with some fireworks in; saying that I should celebrate with my girlfriend in style. There was no time to correct her so I just ran like hell.

When she drove off I felt like my legs were jelly, because I realized that I was finally going to confess to Koizumi; I wasn't sure if she'd even accept after everything I put her through even if she did say she fell back in love with me. I didn't want the others getting in the way of us, so I climbed up the fire escape to the roof and waited for what felt like forever for them to all come out.

I heard the door open and everyone came rushing out to see the fireworks; I was so nervous and scared that they'd see me and call me over so I kept quiet and watched for a bit. Koizumi stared at the fireworks but she seemed kind of sad, so I texted her to say I was waiting around the back. Thankfully she didn't mention anything to anyone and got the hint to come alone.

I really turned to mush when she came and sat next to me so I handed her the present without facing her properly. She screamed it was really cute and I had to shut her up quickly in case the others heard; they'd definitely tease the hell out of me if they knew I bought her that necklace.

Heh. Here's the good part.

She told me she was happy I turned up and that she was feeling really lonely without me there and said if I wasn't around she wouldn't be able to live because she's no good without me. I wanted to laugh because it's exactly what I said to her but I kept my cool and I told her that I'd said the same thing but she fell asleep so she didn't hear me.

I didn't want her to fall asleep or misunderstand this time so I knew what had to be done, I called her name to face me and I threw myself at her and kissed her. It felt really good but I lost my composure so I started fiddling around with the fireworks in the bag. Then I looked up and she had this dumbfounded expression and asked if I had a fever again!

What!

To make things crystal clear to this airhead I grabbed her hand and I looked at her, I mean REALLY looked at her and I kissed her again, only this time she started kissing me back. It felt like the fireworks and everyone else just faded out of existence and it was just the two of us left in the world...until Haruka had to damn ruin it.

So we joined the others and I prayed that she wouldn't say anything. Thankfully I've mastered the control of my blushing.

So I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend now….FINALLY.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otani and Koizumi's first date.

Ahhhhh that idiot wore the necklace! So everyone is breathing down our necks now (no pun intended) I don't think she told them we're together though (which is kind of strange, knowing the big mouth she has).

JUST FRIENDS? After her chasing after me for a year; those countless tears, the stress, frustration and hatred I had for Maity! oh and lets not forget about locking lips with me not once, not twice but three times!

WHAT THE HELL

It happened like this; we were walking home like usual and I thought maybe we should hang out _seeing as I had this crazy idea we were boyfriend and girlfriend now_? Y'know like a date!

Anyway we were having a great time and listing our Top 10 Umibouzo tracks when this tiny girl calls Koizumi by her first name; long story short she went to middle school with her. I thought ah cool this is my first introduction as her boyfriend! And that's when I was hit with the **FRIENDZONE**. Akechi I think her name was? Asked Koizumi if I was her boyfriend and with NO hesitation she said I was "just a friend!" oh with a side of extra damage!

"Oh yeah, Risa said she'd never date a guy smaller than her".

Does she actually like me? Or was I just the closest thing for her to latch on to…

I know, I know I shouldn't have this doubt after everything we've been through together but, what if being in love with me is fake and one day all these stupid comments from people will make her see sense?

I said when my ex dumped me I never wanted to feel that pain again, and something tells me with Koizumi it'd be ten times harder because of all that history.

Ugh, whatever. I'm in such a bad mood I can't even be bothered with my run!

* * *

Ugh she approached me after homeroom acting like her cheery self, then pretended to care if I was alright, I just snapped at her; I don't feel confident as a man at all right now.

Greeaaaaaaaaat, Sensei just summoned the two of us to the staff room together later.

Well looks like I'm not getting a summer vacation even in my final year… I totally forgot to do my homework again. It's all that idiots fault I couldn't concentrate on anything!

She actually had the nerve to ask WHY I didn't deny it when Sensei asked if we were dating! Is she an idiot?! He also thinks I didn't get her a present for her birthday so he probably thinks I'm a horrible guy! (that part MIGHT be my fault though, I did tell her to keep the necklace a secret…)

I take back what I said about her using me, that idiot is so embarrassing sometimes but I'm kind of happy.

We argued briefly over the whole just friends thing and it hit me this girl doesn't know anything about relationships; and I GUESS I will have to just make everything clear to her so there aren't any more misunderstandings.

She told me she would've been happy with just the kiss and it was satisfying enough for her; that idiot haha! Hearing that made me go all fuzzy and warm, I liked kissing her too. So I told her that and then expressed in PERFECT JAPANESE that I would NEVER. EVER. kiss a girl whom I considered to be just a friend. (just to really drill it into that thick skull of hers).

I needed to establish what we were each-other so I grabbed her hand in public to show her that we are indeed a couple.

Then… she did something embarrassing, she started sobbing right there in the middle of the street and everyone was looking at us and kept declaring her love for me! IN PUBLIC! I was mortified and she wouldn't stop so I knew she just wanted an answer back, so when she asked if I loved her I told her I did.

Wahhhh my heads spinning, I've never told anyone I've loved them before. I guess our relationship will be a lot of firsts for the both of us.

* * *

I asked Koizumi out on our first proper date today; it was a little nerve wracking, we've been out by ourselves many times over the years but now it feels a little different that we're a couple.

I've got the perfect place in mind to take her too!

* * *

So we've scheduled the date for this weekend and I'm really nervous, after me telling her she was stupid for panicking here I am doing the exact same hah!

I've even borrowed some hair gel from Naoko and bought some expensive cologne. I've never gelled my hair before; I wonder why?

That's why… I am SO glad I didn't gel it on the day; I looked like a damn ginger mop! The cologne; some smart jeans and my best jacket will have to do.

* * *

Could the days go by any slower...I mean really! I just need it to be Saturday already; everyone is still hovering around me and Koizumi and I'm pretty sure the cat is going to be out of the bag after our date this weekend, but I don't mind too much; we can't keep this a secret forever.

Koizumi and I are stuck doing cleaning alone after school. Not very romantic but we get some alone time atleast.

Hahahah! So after we finished mopping the floors I took my chance and leant in to kiss her but her foot got stuck in the bucket and she fell pulling me with her; so we were both soaked!

I've been home for hours but I can't stop chuckling to myself about it, she's such a klutz!

I haven't teased her in awhile so I'm just going to send her a bucket emoji before bed.

* * *

Our date is tomorrow! I've decided I'm taking her to the new arcades that opened recently, she loves games and it's the perfect place to help her feel at ease.

I just hope that she doesn't overthink anything, we're still the same people as before so she doesn't need to act any differently.

* * *

Well I'll be honest that was a rocky first official date, but I wasn't expecting it to be perfect; it IS Koizumi after all.

I waited outside the train station for a good 20 minutes this morning and she finally showed up; she looked really cute, don't get me wrong but she was late, argued with me and didn't even bring a bag!

Oh but she _did_ have a few coins in her pocket; jeez what is she? An old man on his way to play pachinko?

I told her that it was my treat anyway (I am her boyfriend after all) but she looked a bit gloomy after the disagreement; this girl… she needs to chill.

When we finally got to the arcades things went well again! She immediately had that stupid adorable grin on her face and we played air hockey, pacman, whack-a-mole and she even beat me on House of the Undead! (a really old zombie shooter game).

This is where the trouble started; we had one more round of House of the Undead and that gloomy expression returned; she kept sighing when we had our lunch so I thought she was bored or something. I tried changing the mood and challenged her to a game of Foosball but she started asking me all sorts of questions about my ex again, like where did we go on dates, what did we do? Idiot! It's like rule #3 on a date you don't bring up any past partners!

That's when she reminded me she's never had a boyfriend, she's never been on a date before so she was utterly clueless on what to do! I wanted to tell her to just be herself, relax and stop overthinking things but she interrupted me and said it was like I was USED to planning the sort of things; excuse me I'm not a playboy!

Then she told me she was acting like that because I had stolen her heart! I was a little taken back by that; especially after she told me she wanted to steal mine (idiot you already have). I'm not the mushy type of guy though so I teased her and told her mine's not so easy to take.

After that things got worse… I cut my finger on the steel underside of the table; dumb idiot had forgotten her bag so she had no band aids for me. Looking depressed again I told her it's not a big deal and to just be normal (deep down I felt like she was probably comparing herself with my ex; she seems to really look up to her) she then got up to take our trash but her skirt got caught on the chair and we helped the waitress clear things off the floor.

I sent her to buy a drink from the machine (mostly so she could chill and get a breather) and then I bumped into Kanzaki…..ugh I really wish she hadn't been there; it was awkward and I knew before it happened that Koizumi would misunderstand.

This entry is getting long huh? (I'll try to wrap things up quicker) Basically the idiot got a blister on her foot from wearing shoes she wasn't used to, there was an awkward moment with Kanzaki helping her with it and that's when I took over. I thanked her for her help and finally introduced Koizumi as my girlfriend (who looked at me in total awe like she didn't believe it?)

After that she started crying again and asked me if I was ok with someone like her as my girlfriend (I was right that she was comparing herself..), I told her off for going overboard on the clothes and she said it was because she wanted to look cute for once for me, my heart nearly bounced out of my chest at that!

Overall I'd give this date a 7/10 (I'm joking, don't take me seriously) but hopefully she learns to chill now and our next date will be better!

Phew if only I focused this much on studying, I actually might need to buy another journal soon; who would've thought someone like me would fill one up with interesting events of their life, even if everything does seem to revolve around my girlfriend, hah.

* * *

We're not seeing each-other again until school so I'm going to take today to clear out my room; it's starting to look like a little kids.

I ended up spending most of the day sitting on the floor of my room texting Koizumi… she asked me permission to tell the others tomorrow (knew it) about us, I told her it's fine but don't get a big head about it and to expect a LOT of teasing.

My Mom keeps asking for me to bring her around again too.

I probably should introduce Koizumi to my family properly soon; it's just bad timing because we seriously need to start preparing for exams now and to be honest I really should start studying for the University entrance exams…


End file.
